I’ve always been a little different. Growing up my interests included sports, dreaming of being a professional snowboarder/dirt-bike racer, playing Final Fantasy and watching Degrassi after school. As I got older, those things stuck with me but I added a touch of pink and was introduced to stores like AE and Pac Sun. I think at one point my sister dubbed me a “prepungothian”. To translate, she basically said that I was a mix of every stereotype imaginable. She was right, there really wasn’t any rhyme or reason to my taste; I just liked what I liked because I liked it.
Entering college and coming into contact with people who had no idea where I was coming from was a difficult transition. People didn’t understand who I was or what I stood for, and as most freshman experience, I probably didn’t either. I considered myself a Christian, but I don’t know that I could have told you much more than that.
I remember going to The Well for the first time and feeling so out of place during worship. I had never seen so many people truly worshiping God and giving Him praise, honor and glory. And let’s be honest, I was a little weirded out by the amount of people raising their hands and dancing. That feeling turned out to be curiosity and maybe even a little bit of jealousy- why wasn’t I able to demonstrate my love for God so publicly, so recklessly?
Over the past three years I’ve begun to enter a season of my faith that has taken me to deeper places than I ever thought imaginable. I’ve learned what it means to follow God faithfully and obediently, and I’ve experienced true healing. Every day I discover to a greater extent who I am in Christ and what that means for my life. I’ll be honest with you, raising my hands for the first time was awkward, but I finally felt as though my passion for the Lord that had been bottled up for so long was able to burst free.
Being obedient to the calling God has placed on my heart hasn’t been a walk in the park either- I constantly doubt and constantly try to run, but I’m always brought back to my Father’s arms; in comfort, safety and certainty. Being a follower and a disciple of Jesus Christ is by far the weirdest part of who I am, but it’s also the best part of who I am, and I love it not just because I love it, but because He first loved me.